Surviving a bear attack I was shocked at how calm I was through the whole episode. Suddenly realized that I classify modes of death into graceful and disgraceful.
If a Truck gets too close to my bike on a highway, I my knees shake for quite some time. I have heard really bad bear attack stories, people disfigured beyond recognition and stuff. Still when everyone else was running instinctively, my feet just didn’t move, we were told not to panic and run and I didn’t. Don’t know if everyone else also has acceptable modes of death but i certainly do..
I realized a few more things.
Bear don’t tickle you to death. (My mom actually told me that they do)They just try to maul you to pulp.
Four feet bear weighs around 80 kgs and feels like 800 on your back.
Bear drool is extremely sticky.
Bear look cute and cuddly in zoos and circus. In the jungle they are terrifying.
It’s good to have life insurance. (I actually got life insurance for myself TODAY)
4 comments:
Oh, the bear story bared to the public at last! Now that it all ended well, (praise the Lord!) bear with me while I tell you my favourite nonsense bear rhyme!
“Algie met a bear. (Pregnant Pause)
The bear was bulgy.
The bulge was Algie.”
Succint, what? !!
P.S: The poem sure sounds less unbearably funny after the bear incident. Mummmeee!
I had barely finished with that, I remembered another story! Bear with me again! – in Bokkapuram village (below Bear Mountain in Masinagudi), there are plenty of people with bear injuries especially on face. So to avoid the hassle of every new person asking “Oh, what happened?”, all those people are given a prefix, and introduced this way – “Meet Karadi Suresh”, "Meet Karadi Muniyandi”. Seriously, no joke –story from local person.
So introducing – Karadi Swapnil! Tang ta dang! Taaliyan!
People have been analizing why i was attacked of all people. Here are top two
2. I was carring a full bottle of my bag. And they saw sign saying "No Vodka in Beer Country"
1. The bear baby resembled me a little, (with my long hair balack and black clothes and untrimmed beard)and they heard lines like "Hamare Pyar ki nishani" and "Kahan chale gaye the itne din"
Correction, correction! The tone was distinctly non-amorous and the full sentence was "Kahan chale gaye the itne din,@$#@#^%$&)(*+(*&$^%@#$@@$#$#&%^!!!"
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